I came - I saw ---- I took Ballet.

It's a funny thing when a man walks into a video store looking for a film to just take his mind off of things.... And yet he finds himself buying a movie that he wouldn't normally buy but he somehow finds himself being drawn to it. As if it were his own personal brand of heroin.........

yes ladies I did it........ I bought "Twilight".

Okay fellas - so sue me! I'm a sucker for romantic chick flicks. I own special edition copies of "The Notebook" - "Wimbledon" - "Ever After" - and other copies of "The holiday" and "Music & Lyrics". And yes of course there are many more in this combo but
I'll stop while I'm down. :D

Now I wont go as far as "Pride and Prejudice" ...... BUuuuuuuuuut my mother owns it so there's no need to :)

Oh stop that. Don't tell me fellas that you don't enjoy it when you're all cuddled up on the couch with YO woman and she's all gitty from a good love story. SURE you are aching for a good punch in the face to the main actor every so often - BUT C'mon!!

-Mission 19- I came...........I saw............... I took ballet.

Saturday was a big day in my life.

For almost a round 2 wopping years have I been out of school with no more than a High School Diploma. And although for most in my area - a nice HSD is hard to get yet livable - I need more. I have been aching myself. Not for more love trauma in both my life and dreams (although some would make for a more interesting time) I yearn for more school. For something more. School is just the easiest to reach for :D. If I had the gonads I would be out touring around with my Ukulele and a band of people I have yet to recruit for a band I would love to have - BUT school is something that I would very much like to fill my time with now as well.

So let me tell you a little something about Ontario Canada...... THERE ARE CLOSE TO NO Musical Theater schools. I think there are about 3. And the one closest to me is called "Sheridan College". Now I am a film guy - yes - BUT - over the last many blogs you have learned about my obsession with Musical Theater and Music all together - so I would LOVE to indulge in a little musical theater education!

And this Saturday was the BIG audition..... But before I get to that - allow me to take you on a journey (as I do most blogs riiiiiight?;D) - But let me take you on my journey...

March 16th. I had finished the Production of "Guys & Dolls" with the amazing "ClearWater Players" and I was now in Peterborough Ontario spending a few days with my partner in crime @ his place there. But the 16th was my deadline. This was the day that I had given myself to pick my 2 contrasting songs - one up tempo musical theater song - and a Musical Theater Ballad - as well as a monologue........... I didn't do this :) . In fact - I did NOT choose my songs until the Monday after - being the 23rd!! The 28th of course being my audition date I was a little scared.... Now I had a ton of song ideas - but it was not until that Monday where I met up with a past Vocal Coach to help me choose the finale pieces and actually work on them and their presentations.

I was unstoppable. Like a running freight train I was sky rocketing forward with only one stop on schedule. I worked the LONG hours with a lot of tea - trying to nail down these songs which out of the mix turned out to be - "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables" from the Musical Les Mis and as my up tempo - from my recent performance on stage I decided to go with the song "Guys and Dolls" from the musical "CATS"...................................:)................... no no I'm lying...... It's from Phantom of the Opera............ cough anyway.

I became a close friend with Starbucks this week. Run over quite frequently and just sit there with my Venti Chai tea trying to memorize word after word after not after note while I complain that my tea is BURNING hot - so I more just sat there looking cool with a Starbucks cup as I memorized part after part.

And of course my monologue was still left in the toss up. I was given 2 pieces of work from a good friend of mine (warren) and I had decided on a certain one that was ultimately a professional Golfer whom was mocking and interviewer who asked him the question "Don't you think Golf is boring?".
After trying to learn this with as many Starbucks outings as I could afford I decided something.
"With today being Thursday (night) and my audition being Saturday morning - I'm going to change my monologue!!! But alas I need to make sure I wake up and learn what is/was the OTHER piece my good buddy Warren had given me and memorize it and stage it and ultimately do it as the romans do - to the best of their capability and to leave a mark in history ;).

I awoke Friday March 27th to an empty bliss of just fatigue. I had been awoken by the sound of my phone going off and a friend of mine needing some opinions on a video audition she is trying to get done. I got up and begun to help her. While talking outside for the first little bit I had noticed my mothers car still in the drive way. Curious - "That woman should be at work!" I thought. What a sneak - whats she up to?

Turns out -

My Uncle Guthry had died... Not blood relative or uncle in the right context - but a close friend of my family and my families family for a long time. I haven't had a Grandfather - he was the right age and the proper fitting character and so although we called him Uncle - I thought otherwise. My mother who like my Father lost her father at a younger age - so he filled in on the old Walk her down the aisle on the big day. Just more than a month ago was my Birthday - although he was undergoing surgeries like no other and struggling in the Hospital he still found time to send me a twenty and a rather feeling of saying "I'm thinkin of yah".
I had a feeling that I wasn't going to see him again. And I in fact struggled a bit with that as I worked and performed on Guys and Dolls - just fearing that I would miss those last moments and and even his funeral because I would be in a show. And I am happy to have known at least one form of Grandfather.

I am 1 day away from an audition. TO be hit with such a brick is pretty painful while you have the stresses and emotional toll of a life changing audition on your shoulders is probably one of the hardest things I have ever been faced with. You'know there are always those stories you see in the movies or hear on the television of pain and struggles - and I know I have seen my fair share of people pass - it has never come across another struggle. It wasn't bearable as I heard his funeral would be at the same time as my Audition. And even a phone call to the Coordinator of the program requesting a rescheduling or perhaps a video audition couldn't help me. It was Saturday or nothing.... So the unbearable became the bearable even without me wanting it to.
I left my house and was on my way to a very last vocal coaching before I was on my own to prepare mentally for my audition.

It went great. I felt comfortable with the songs. I had them down. And I was at ease with my vocals.

As I left to go home I decided to enjoy the sunny day. After a quick stop and a joke from a video clerk about how I am the first male he has seen purchase a copy of Twilight I continued to walk up the busy street of "Young". I walked and walked. And just thought to myself. This was me finding my peace before this audition. Blocking out my grieving was not something I wanted to do - but I felt there was nothing more I could do within 24 hours and do my best. After about 2 hours of walking I stopped at..yep... A Starbucks.... And excuse my French - but fuck the extremely hot tea. Screw the fact I needed to be cautious about hurting my throat before the audition! I wanted to sit - I wanted the biggest fucking Cafe' Mocca they had - and I wanted to sit there and dream before I was to begin what was to become my 8 straight hours of work on my monologue..... This was happening....... I'm not stopping....

THE AUDITION:

The Audition begun with dance. After an intense warm up with the most flexible person I've seen in a dance class - we begun to do Ballet. Understandably it is hard for people to get places on time - we were constantly interrupted by people arriving late.... I arrive and act professionally from start to finish. I was there way early.... And not this thugged out tanned guy who walked in sporting the WRONG attire for an audition. He bothered me.
I would tell you what exactly I did for this part of the audition but me trying to spell French words for the different dance moves - but let me just say grace is something I don't lack ;) - but of course the obvious spelling lacking I also lack balance when on my tippy toes for long periods of time :D. - And of course thug boy didn't try to dance the pieces they were testing us on - he decided to rock the "robot"...... the stress of this audition was already excruciating - why was he here!?
- Next came the Jazz dancing. I didn't do the choreography perfectly. There were a lot of mistakes in me - but I committed to it. My mistakes did not show on my face. I was present and in the moment. I gave'r my all.

Next was the Musical Theory test................. ZOOOOM...... thats it flying over my head with another thing I lack.... Knowledge of Musical Theory...... You know screw all my math teachers who told me I'd need it in my future - I SOOO don't. And now I'm left imagining my Folk Rocking Musical teacher Mr. Tom Leighton and good ol Mr. Bob Johnson LAUGHING at my pain due to the lack of commitment I gave towards their agonizingly painful Theory lessons.
MY Ear test went over alright. This girl clapped faster then I have ever seen before in my days as a drummer. I could NOT keep up. I swear she was secretly screwing with me! - And of course my favorite Thug boy was there to lighten things up as he lifted his head during the test and says "Wait..... You don't give us a monologue to perform?"........................................................ That was the last I saw of Thug Boy. May he Thug in Peace....

Next up was the big one. My vocal and acting portion... I was one of the first due to my name beginning with a stout "B".

They were happy chums the panel of judges they were. There were three of them. And at a calm breathe I was at ease and ready to perform. I announced my audition pieces and I was off. Like a racehorse.................................................................................... Not long after was I waiting outside the door as they spoke about me and asked me to re enter the room. They spoke kind words of my audition and told me that - yes - they like me. They thought I brought charm and humor - they wanted more - they found I was rushing in the heat of the moment and that I should give more time in my pieces to allow them to laugh........... They pushed me forward to what was my now CALL BACK.... Or rather "RDA" as they called it. God I feel stupid - I left still not know what "RDA" stood for. I like to think it stands for "REAL DAMN ACTOR" - and well only the REAL DAMN ACTORS get to do this portion :D - because in reality there were only about 15 of us and there were well over 40 kiddies running around. (thinking about it now I think it was actually "RDF" - but screw it.... This man is a REAL DAMN ACTOR and will commit to his actions - even if they aren't exactly right. ;D)

I waited patiently for it to be my turn. Luckily I know one of the most amazing performers out there due to going to high school with her. She is a few years younger then I am - a close friend to the brother of my partner in crime - so it was a great relief to have a friendly face around. For the both of us. My Call back went alright.... Only Alright to be honest. I do not believe I left them thinking what an amazing voice that guy had or what great acting he did. But rather what great presence he had. Much like the dance - I was there moving towards one goal - I was in the moment as I try o be in my life everyday. I committed. And with that - I don't turn back with regret - this thankful train moves forward.

And now as I think back to the emotional binding weekend I experienced I am THANKFUL to be done with it :D. And as soon as Tuesday and or Wednesday hits I will know my fate.

And now at 2:30 in the morning of Sunday night/Monday morning - this train makes its exhausting stop.

And in the morning.................................................................................................... I shall dance :)

-pJ ..............................................Goodbye Uncle Guth.....

My Funny Valentine

I'm going to say it straight up.

Without any care of the fabrications or the after affects in ANY way.
I don't care who reads this. Really don't -- But after all - this is my blog - and I can say this next thing freely without any trouble yet that of my commitment to how I feel.

I love Kristin Chenoweth...

What a Doll.

MAN!

LIKE - have you ever listened to her voice?!! C'mon!!!

She does theeee most beautiful version of "My Funny Valentine" and her song "Taylor the Late' Boy" although hysterical - her voice accents it in such a beautiful way.

People make jokes about hooking me up with someone after my small hiatus of dating. Well friends - Find me a Kristin.

-Mission YOU- Find me Java, find me Joy

Get'r done!

ps. Not to come across as a desperate stalker freak or nuffin - but this is all a part of my obsession with female vocal singers. Although Kristin's voice is beyond all I'd ever dream of to melt my soul into a thousand shoes - tear the tongue out and leave soul bare to the world.... ha! - but I also have come down with an obsession with very Jazzy voices. Listen to "Adele" - most amazing voice. If you don't know her - don't go researching her just yet. Before you learn how amazing it is that she sings so well for her age - just listen to the voice. Amazing!

There is also a blond on American Idol right now who rocks a similar voice. She's the OTHER single blond - the one with the tattoo's all down her right arm. I could be her baby's daddy! C'mon! I'm a catch! - Don't have much of a throw unless it's with a Frisbee - but I'm guaranteed to leave you spinning in your seat! FINE FINE FINE...................................................I'll stop.
FOX.......cough I mean - NOW - I'll stop.

Thought for the week.

I keep finding myself at a phase of utter laziness. I don't want to do what it is I KNOW I have to do. I have a lot of memorizing to do this week. Yet distractions like work at A&E and a ridiculously large check from the government is distracting me.
I am almost all better from my illness. I was on the boarder of getting a flu. A really bad cold had cursed 5 of my days that I should have been rehearsing. But alas I am left with no more than 4 days of memorizing and then I perform 2 songs and 1 monologue to a panel of judges that ultimately decide my fate for next year.... There's a huge difference with auditioning for school rather than sending in your grades and perhaps a portfolio with a resume of what you've done with your life. In an audition you step up and show them for who you are and how you feel you can give just as much as take from their program. I say feel - because as you show them what you think in an audition - your feelings become bare and everything is on the table for them to see. It is at your expense where you either triumph or fail. Not much to do but just give it your all. Nerves can't take a hold of anything. In fact I'm not even nervous. I am about having my lines memorized - yet when it comes to me showing everything - why fail? Why shake? Why break from your character when you want something soo bad? If I don't get in it will NOT be because I faltered or stumbled on my nerves as they took hold of me. No. It will be for the lack of their space in a program. I will not be the failed attempt.

I looked upon a friend no more than 4 minutes before we were to go on and perform in Guys and Dolls. They were nervous beyond all emotions. Tears spread from their eyes and a heavy breathing of doubt and fear filled them. I looked at them and told them this.

"In my case. I think of this as "not me" - I am someone else up there. If I were performing with a guitar showing off my vocals in my own written songs, I to would be terrified. Yet if they don't like what I do up there. I wont be saddened. in my mind - that's not me. That's the character. "

Even though this philosophy is filled with cracks and errors - it's what gets me through it all. My teacher told me to "Leave your drama at the door - enter as the actor - perform - then when you leave, don't forget to pick up your garbage"

hahaha - It stuck with me. And both of these methods helped me keep a steady head. Why fear what wont kill you? In this case I really do take what the Mraz man spoke about - (how not to stress about looking foolish in front of people and to rock out not thinking because you'll never see the people again - but rather in hopes you will see them again...) They will look upon you and see you as not that stuttering little person who cried during their audition because of being soo nervous - but rather that fearless actor who is really LIVING their life.

I'll write more in a week - I'm off to go live my life.

(sometimes you need to write it out and read it to REALLY know what it is that you need to hear)

Snuggled up somethin Fierce

A few years back....... Lets say 4 - I was sitting at home on the computer........(things haven't changed much) ..... But it was at a time when the hit R&B singer "Akon" was making his break through debut within the wonderful world of remixed music with his hit "Lonely" covering the smash 1960's hit Mr.Lonely. It was with this song that I created a trademark sound with my partner in crime. The sound is trademarked by a simple Charlie Brown head raise to the ceiling and with a quick breath - out comes a depressed "AAWOOOO WOOO woooOOOoOOO!"

This sound is often heard in times of depression while the other is around - or when we jokingly call the other one Lonely. We usually do it in the joking manner. Yet don't just assume we are joking - There's always a hint of truths in our jokes......... Or at least mine....... Jordan not so much...... He's a liar............ I mean............. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaBIG liar!

So it was last night. I found myself sitting in my own depression with the sting of loneliness watching show after show on the tube and always seeing the power house love couples. Thinking about it is probably the worst.

Now before I indulge you any further - allow me to describe the next part through a little lesson.
Comfort comes from SOO many different places. And now I wouldn't call this person a blanket of care and compassion - but they are one hell of a comforter.

My cat.

That's right.

I have always heard about how pets can be your best friend, always there and blah blah blah - but my cat the little suck has been there to snuggle up to me, help me feel a bit better about myself. Just "BEING there". It's odd how an animal can do soo much just by the cuteness of their face when it takes a friend a series of long and touching words to help make you better. I know it'd work the same as say the smile of your child or even just the feelings you see within the eyes of your significant other. But for me - one without a child or significant other, find myself having found a warmth inside the curious furry face of my cat Tigger.... Also known through out my household as "Tigger Toad".

I don't understand where the "toad" came in - I just recall my mother saying it a ton and its stuck. Much like a pet name..... for .... a pet.....with a name....... cough.

But Tigger has taken on a few human characteristics as of late. One time when my mom forgot to flush the toilet tigger ran on in there and flushed it..... Oddest moment. My mom had a grand ol chuckle over the event waking up the entire household. He gets annoyed too when you don't acknowledge him when he sits down beside you. If you don't pet him while he gives you the luxury of sitting beside him - he gets annoyed and very slightly with his paw he begins to poke you until you look over and give him a nice little pat. He has also taken on polite eating habits - instead of shoving his face into his bowl as if to be a pig and a troff - he now sits down - rests his hands on either side of the bowl and then begins to chow down.... Yet the stupid little diva has begun to mope around and cry out at us a lot more if he does not get his 5 square meals a day.... bloody hobbit....... Now I say square as more of an inside pun to myself to make myself laugh..... you see his food is in the shape of a square.... cough... anyway...


So to rewind ----- I was sitting in my living room.

Depressed out of my mind - busting out the "ahwooo" --- my cat jumps down on to the couch beside me knocking my uke on to the ground and cuttle's up to me. I think this is cute, but continue on with my little self indulgent bliss. Realising he didn't give me the push as I needed - I feel - very gently, a tiny little paw rest on my hand. I look down and his paw was just resting on top of my hand as to say that's alright. I looked at him and he was just merely staring up at me. It was one of those serendipitous moments where it was just soo perfect and whimsical that he cheered me right up.

You can find comfort in many things. A song - a friend - an warm blanket - or even in the absolute WORST case - food. Of course in the usual case I have found it within the music of Jason Mraz as I have mentioned several hundred times within this blog. But as the sting and the feeling of miss came about - it was great for something new.

-And as the years pass and I find myself stumbling towards the computer much like I have done in the past - and making that all to firmiliar sound of "ahwooo" like I have for years - I will continue to find comfort in the gratitude of being alive and able to live in this carefree, completely random and soo (I'll say it again) serindipitous lifestyle. It's been a joy. Even without that heart throb...... that.....heart.......sniff......


AHWOOO WOOO WOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo...............

Smile

tho'

your heart is aching,

Smile

Even though it's breaking,

When there are clouds in the sky-

You'll get by,

If you

Smile through your fear and sorrow,

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You'll see the sun come shining through-

For you.

Light up your face with gladness,

Hide ev'ry trace of sadness,

Altho' a tear may be ever so near,

That's the time you must keep on trying,

Smile-

What's the use of crying,

You'll find that life is still worthwhile,

If you just smile.

-by Charlie Chaplin

Pony Voice - Just a little Hoarse

After a week long of amazing show perform-ag, it is feeling really good to lay back in my bed and suck back a few Peach Cups as I download musical number after musical for an upcoming audition.

Although I can't sing a long right now - it's putting ease to my stress to look at songs and see songs to which I could actually succeed in.................. Hold up........ Rewind.............. Feeling lost? Welcome to my world. But then again that would be a completely separate lost to which you may be encountering now......... And now I've confused us both.

Let's turn back the clock - count to three - then start again.

I have been on a journey and back. Travelling up to a neighboring town called Mississauga - the last week I performed in a Musical Production of "Guys and Dolls". Now if you are a frequent Skats reader (I call you Skreaders -Sk-reed-er-s) then you would have known over the last few months I have auditioned and rehearsed often for this production. Way to be on top of the game for those of you now understanding what I'm talking about and alas welcome to the conversation....cough... I mean blog............................................. oh shut up.

But of course this last week went by faster than a single apple in an all meat buffet filled with vegetarians..... What an unfortunate situation. any way.

We performed from Wednesday to Saturday - including 2 matinees on Wednesday and the 2nd on Saturday.

I played Benny Southstreet - one of the comedic little bottom feeders that follows around the lead male "Nathan Detroit" in their hopes to win copious amounts of lettuce (50's slangwich for money) in a Crap Game that changes location each time in hopes not to be caught by the police....-I'm a tad hungry - think I may go make me a slangwich with lettuce - ..............

We sold out completely a few of the nights. But even with the theater not fully packed - the crowds were phenomenal. They were brilliant. Always into it. Ready for what ever we through at them...... One part of the show one of our Hot Box girls actually fulfilled that idea quite literally and threw her hat into the crowd. Unintentional I assure you...... Except for the person whom was hit in row c seat 10 who wouldn't shut their yap................................ ahem....Ahem...

Other than a stressful quick change from a line where I say "But maybe it won't come! Maybe he took that doll to Havana" to 47 seconds later where I walk on stage wearing a completely different outfit and a fake mustache in order to dance as a sexy Cuban man I name "Juan" -(HhhhHhh-Won) the show was EXTREMELY fun! And I have been in at least one musical production if not 2 or 3 per year over the past 6 years, this show was by far the most fun.

I honestly would do another show in seconds if ANY of my fellow cast members asked me. They were all more than a joy to work and play and all together just be around.

I will post pictures as soon as they are available to me.

But as the week ended. Same with my sleep. Ironic huh? I have time now to sleep and yet I haven't fully gotten any. I find myself waking up in the beginning hours of the afternoon unsatisfied with my slumber.

I stayed with my partner in crime "Jordan" (hhhhhhHhhhh-Jord-an) in his place located in Peterborough Ontario and I found myself leaving with an INCREDIBLY sore throat today..... Well, yesterday. Lame. I probably could have stayed later - I found out as I begun my drive home that my boss had cancelled my shift at work for today. Hence why I am still awake now. I'm thinking all nighter? Yes? You think so? YEAH!?!!!!!!

Fine then I wont....

But the problem you see is that I have yet to find those songs.... Remember?

"After a week long of amazing show perform-ag, it is feeling really good to lay back in my bed and suck back a few Peach Cups as I download musical number after musical for an upcoming audition."

Gosh you forget easily.. You are worse than..................... ANY way.

I'm thinking all nighter? Yes? You think so? YEAH!?!!!!!!

Fine then I wont....

So I take you back to the beginning.

-Mission 18- One Song Glory

So I have an Audition coming up in a little less than 10 days. This audition is for The Musical Theater Performance School of "Sheridan Collage" located in Ontario Canada.

I am pretty stressed about it seeing how I haven't A. Been in school for almost 2 years and need to get started again. And B. I need to sing and dance and all that jazz in an intimidatingly life breaking/or making moment where all your cards get laid out and only the people who sit before you judging hold the dice.

Can you tell I just finished "Guys and Dolls" - So as I was saying -

I have been struggling over some song selections for the last little while. It begun with me choosing to sing the song "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables" from the Musical "Les Miserables". This caught peoples attention. haha. My friends have been great with sending me ideas and telling me songs - or rather singing me songs that I should audition with. And STILL I have yet to figure out what to sing. I told myself that I would find my Musical Ballad and Up Tempo Musical selections my Monday night..... The time on my clock as we speak is 2:11am Thursday morning........... Damn.

But I got home last night from Peterborough with Musicals on the Brain. I went through my musical repertoire and other more direct methods of finding a song - i.e - Youtube.

Of course I would be again no where without those close to me - so I sent out a few dozen emails to try and figure out what my friends though about my selections. Of course I have had a few shrugs and a couple "I LOVE that one" and the ever lovable always encouraging "you'll be great in what ever you do" - I have come down to a conclusion.

I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SING!!!!

I have a couple I am leaning to. And at that I am very happy. It means I can begin learning the one I am MOST positive about and worry about switching the other if need be in due time. Of course all I can do is just go out there and do what I do regardless of what ever it is going through my head.

I find if I go out there and fully just lose myself in the song and character I wont be nervous. Or at least I wasn't during "Guys and Dolls".

So what I shall do is just sit at home and practice until I know the songs to which I will choose within the next 24 hours endlessly (I SWEAR!!!!!!!! -ice-wear) and I will be fully prepared for this audition. I'll do my best - and go back to school! Because if I don't - I'll be stuck at home for another god forsaken year..............

I feel like I should have heard a trombone doing the comical "womp waawwwmp" at the end of that last sentence.

Any way. Time to go and get my practice on! Tune in next time to......................... Wait.... I have a ridiculously sore throat!!!!!!!

WOMP WAAAAWMP

THIS!!!

I have been trying to write a blog for days now.

It's getting really really hard - seeing how I have had close to no encounters with the "silly" lifestyle I live and the times where I could write humorous anecdotes I just find myself mixed with such emotions of both the tired and depressed sorts.

It's been a journey..... I have been happier then ever - I have lived a week that will relive through out my memory for the rest of my life. And as I diminish into nothing this week and this history will actually just keep on living..... Crazy huh?

But of course in stead of filling this blog with that story I find myself in a slump of a cold tired depression that keeps me from that bliss of happiness due to THIS...... JUST ... THIS!!....... That's all I can really call it.

THIS - stupid slump.... I'll be back.

signed -pJ

Never knock another man's Swing

Just laying back today shamelessly downloading tunes to listen to. Dreaming of "Tabitha" my Ukulele which is up in my room and not in my arms right now. Thought I'd drop a name or two to get you all in tune with the tunes that I have tuned into.....Tune...

Anya Marina -

Recommended to me by Freshness Guru Mr.Jason Mraz - This girl is pretty fun. Higher voice than most of the ladies out on the airwaves - but I am dyeing with her version of "Someday my Prince Will Come" from Disney's Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. I suggest Downloading it off your Itunes. Pay the $1 for it. It'll be worth it. Preview it if you don't believe me.

Another respectable musician to make note of is my re appreciation for John Mayer. His song "The Heart of Life" - isn't any real change from his other songs - but there are a few notes in there that bring me back to simpler loving times where there wasn't just me sitting here listening to music in my comfy sweats.

I'm following a new philosophy to music and artists. I don't feel too bad now when I download songs for free off of my selected musical pirate device - to bandaid myself into the script from "Almost Famous" - I am beginning to just really appreciate artists who don't care about the money tree. Artists who are out just playing music for it to be heard and not to make the "Benjamins" off of is the way Im diggin it these days.
Artists today have this idea that they just need to come out with their next album regardless of the crap they go scooping out on to it. I'm not understanding the artistic method of some of these woman (in particular) these days making a song with heavy beats and lyrics that repeatedly tell some man (or woman in some cases) that "their bootlicious boom boom aint got dat pump without that lovin somethin".......... I'm not quoting any specific song - but I'm sure if you give it a year you'll be hearing something similar by our semi legally sane singer Brittany Spears.
Not to knock those heavy beats - I know driving in a car late at night it could be fun loosing yourself with your friends as you speed down the freeway. But c'mon people - the summer is brewing - I especially am one of those blasting the music with the windows down kinda guys - let's hear some "flava"! It'll be closing in to 9am and I'll hear a song about "dem boom booms" blasting up and down my street. C'mon - how does something like that wake you up in the morning. The high pressured melody I understand - but for those of you who can understand what the frick people are talking about in those songs - do you honestly wake up with songs like that? I suppose a lot of people don't listen to the lyrics these days - but creativity and originality in music is no longer a must these days.

I live off the life philosophy of "Never knock another man's swing" - meaning - Thats who they are - love em for living it the way they do - even if it absurd - what ever helps the brotha wake up happy in the mornings...... I just struggle sometimes - you know - questioning things... It's not an old man thing. I'd consider myself one of the cats who wear their trousers a tad lower than respectable and not really care because of how comfortable it is against your happy cheeks. But for those people can't find themselves and cling on to something that would leave them all together "un coordinated" in their life - are they truly happy?
Gangsta rap is respectable. Being angry twenty four/seven because that's how "dem playa's" act is RIDICULOUS! Put a smile on next time your at a McDonald's - hell it comes free on the Menu.
And you know I'd reach out to some and try to help them understand that it's cool to be happy - but living in the neighborhood I do - I'd be a little concerned about what they may be reaching back out at me.

But if they are "happy" being "angry" - then Let it be. Odd...... But oh well -

So as a method for you all to begin living your lives. Try - as I am - to not question another human being and how they present themselves - if it's what makes them smile in the mornings then thats all that matters.
(this is of course excluding all lawbreakers and Stephen Harper - question the hell out of that guy!)

Open up your mind and see like me.
-pJ

Beautiful Moon

SOOO.

Trying to find an idea for what is to become my next "Film Idea" to store in my Portfolio and send off to yet another school, I stumbled over a few ideas...... Care to hear?............. No?..............Well stop reading then....................................


...............Still there?.....................Good........................ I'm sorry too. Lets never fight again........................................................ Oh Agreed!................................... And yes, those pants do make your butt look big... And not in the I'm a Brutha and think yo back look Phat - type of way............ Any way.


-Mission 17- To write but not to Right.

Writing has been a growing thing with me as i is for everyone. In Kindergarten you begin to learn letters as you sit there and go "I'm never going to get this!.....Ohh look at the kitty!"...... All the way to Highschool where you sit there going.... "I'm never going to get this!.......... Oh look at the Kitty!".........

I was pushed to write in my grade 9 English class where a supply teacher whom I do not recall his name but remember his regular job is "Set Design" teacher at a competing Arts school from mine. He told me to write a Poem. That was all. no strings attached... But a bit of news about me. I see people around me - and this is how I know how I should step out of the crowd and show off. Me being the only little white boy in the class as the others are a bunch of Gangsters whom were taking this course for the 2nd or in some cases, third time.

I went home that night and begin to write what ever it was in my head. I don't recall the music I was into at the time. Bu I'm sure I was watching some sort of Julia Roberts movie that night, for what I came up with was so titled, "A Simple Word."

I was meeting new people at the time and coming to see that when people say goodbye - they express more than just a simple, "yeah, umm, see yah!" There were "I Love You's" flying past my head as if I were a soldier on a French beach. THEY WERE EVERYWHERE! Someone said

"Bye PJ! Love Yah!"
Well I was like,
"Woah woah woah, I just met you. Im sure you're great and all but........."

They stopped me to inform me they were not telling me they were IN love with me. It was awkward enough for me as it was in Grade 9 of High School - eating my egg salad sandwiches in the bathroom alone because people thought they smelled really bad. The LAST thing I need was for people to think I was some sort of jerk................... So I asked her out........... A month later I was back at square one......
But anyway - POEM.....

I had a hard time saying "I Love You". If my memory is correct it went something like -

"Trying to find
What was
What is
That Simple Simple Word....
I Love You"

It was much longer and you can imagine the Aww's and ooo's I was getting from my class. But if my memory is ACTUALLY correct - I was more worried bout the gangsta's meeting me outside to do a little poetic justice to my face................ With their fists.............. I made it home safe.... But they stole my Year book....... Sigh.....

Later down my life I began to get more into the poetry. I would carry around a black whole punched binder around with me. It had everything from Poems to Girls, God, and Goats. I left it at a past girlfriends house once and her father stumbled upon it. Thought I should turn them into songs. Only recently have I begun doing that - but the man did have a point.

While beginning to get into Film I begun to write Screenplays. They were in all sorts of styles. I was SLASH am into Romantic Comedies - so I begun to have a talent in that genre. But as I got to my finale year in High School - one of my most favored teachers - Ms. Cathy Mcginn - spoke about branching out further and to fully putting yourself into writing. Really find your style. I took her Writers Craft course she was soo intriguing. I wrote a screenplay best categorized as being in the style of a "Guy Ritchie British Comedy". Now for those who haven't seen his films or are unsure of what he has written, I suggest going out and renting "Snatch". He has many more films of interest - but this in particular is rather entertaining.

Throughout this time I got interested in many things - one thing I begun to enjoy writing was short stories. My most memorable one that I have is "A Mass of Love".
I wrote this after arriving home from dropping an ex girlfriend off at her summer camp - having a feeling I wouldn't see her again - or at least as how I saw her then, I begun to write. What flowed out of me was that short story. The opening came to me on the car ride home.

"It started with the wallowing and self narration to my self, followed by a quick push to clear the entirety of my life’s matter off of my bed……. This being an oversized neon card, a box of Ritz crackers and a hat that’s slogan considered me to be in the business of being creepy (Creepy Biz)…… Which excites me I suppose when I truly look at it, perhaps it adds mystery to my life. But then again if it is me who claims to be mysterious then would I actually be mysterious or would I be contradicting myself entirely and show on a deeper note that I truly do not know myself…. Deep. But to really look upon my life, smile and say “The dandelion has my smile” in a sense of congratulatory bliss, I would have to retract those oh so forgettable hardly humorous times where I was mildly entertaining to the point that I changed my whole lifestyle to suit this joke in the hopes that “maybe I am truly liked”. "

There is much more to it. In fact it begins to take upon a more "Alfie" type of style in the main character. I suggest going out and renting it. It's a film remake starring "Jude Law". The original is called "Alfie" as well - but it stars a young Michael Cane - who is a great actor...... But C'mon! - Jude Law?................... Just watch it.

Me being a fan of musicals took to what has been my latest work.

Over a year ago I begun to write a Musical entitled "As Dreamers Do".
This musical takes a a love story and embraces it through the theme of classic Disney Cartoons. As I begun to feel the sting of age - I begun to think that as fun as it is to still watch those ridiculously fun Disney Cartoon favorites like "Aladdin" or "Beauty and the Beast" which are my favorite 2. People seem to get too old to enjoy them like they used to....... Unless of course you are my Mother who has just about everything "Whinnie the Pooh". Do you ever remember walking into the "Disney Store" and seeing little bean bag dolls of Whinnie the Pooh in different outfits?......... My mother has 110 different ones. I may have lost count. But you can imagine how many that would look on shelves in your family room. My favorite was the Three Muska-Pooh one........... Any way.

Much like "Across The Universe" - The Movie Musical which takes a love story and does it through classic Beatles songs and other lyrical Beatle Themes - Mine is Disney.

The lead Character "Cindy" (Cinderella) a girl whom decides her life is missing something as she has not really left her home which is on her fathers Boat - she leaves and moves to a little town called "Little Town" -- haha you may think thats un-original, but I encourage you to also watch Beauty and the Beast again. Other lead Characters are the other main - guy - "Al" - OBVIOUSLY (Aladdin) and his best friend "Jiminy". And then the evil villain named "Mel" (Melificent). Funny to really only me -- but I have dated someone named Mel so to have a villain named Mel makes me laugh REAL hard..... Sorry to Melissa if she stumbles upon this blog... hahaha - truly unintentional. I swear :D

This was a fun idea - and much like the "Across the Universe" Soundtrack - I have rearranged famous Disney tunes and have come up with a Score that takes more than one Disney song and brings it down to a more modern more Musical feel that can allow Adults to dig back to those old feelings they had as a child and also feel the as an adult in a more adult setting. The songs contain a new meaning that brings plot development and relevance to the show - the only trouble I have had so far is the ending. As corny as I have made a few of the lines to bring that same typical Disney feel to it - I have struggled to find that boarder between Musical Theater climaxes to Disney.

Like these ideas? Tell me about it. I may be encouraged to finish one of em. Especially if I can record some of these songs from the musical idea.

As of late - through the interest and influences of my hero Jason Mraz - I have begun writing music. These songs take base from my singing and through the simple chords that I teach myself on my Tenor Ukulele (Tabitha). And again for those playing the Home Game - A Tenor Ukulele is a longer lower sounding Ukulele than what you would think of.

I have written 3 semi worth noting songs. Most take on the theme of calling out to a girl in hopes she may hear. One being themed for her to know he loves her - one for her to know she's hurt him - and the other to let her know he's down to boogy...... I like all three for different reasons... I do enjoy the boogy one for sure. So for those who check up on me some time - Keep posted. I'm sure I may post a couple one day. But for now. I may just keep them for a few private shows for those who ask.

But now - as the world takes me to new depths - and I begin new adventures - I should end this blog/procrastination time and come up with a couple of papers due tomorrow morning. Hence the lack of me writing what it is I was to have written at this chosen time...... sigh.... Lame.

I salute you for reading this and express with the warmest of feelings to look up the next time you are outside and just love the sky and feel what should be gratitude at its beauty we all get to hold on to. I am a huge star lover. I have a star myself. No I didn't go and buy one online - but I look up to one when I am most down and just dream..... Look to the Big Dipper - the Second star on the handle.... the middle one. Look very closely - but RIGHT above it is a smaller star.... Together they make "The Horse & the Rider". The Rider is my star... Enjoy it as I have. And also our most romantic of outer space dwellers. Our Bella Luna.

-pJ