It's become me. Swallowed me whole. A sort of release in the most convenient of ways. Like a child I tend to it once every moment or two..... Yes sure we should watch over our children 24\7, but if I've learned anything from my recent lifestyle compared to taking care and entertaining children all summer long is that SLEEP IS IMPORTANT!!! Haha.
I have been in the process of writing a blog for sometime now.... There has been a lot on my mind\heart and body soul that has caused a lot of heart ache and distress- but in fact due to a new life style and new friendships my self concious kicked in ten fold and I have held back from those things most important.... Me.
I am about my friends... My grammar teacher would slap me across the face from that last statement - but its who I am. Its what I urge myself to be each day... In the last month I have been wakeing up to a - "how can I be?". Or in literal terms "to be, or not to be?"
There's my question folks... Although I ask it not in the traditional Shakespearean context of to live or not - I ask it daily on how I live. Who I am. What am I greatful for, and what I wish to do.
Don't confuse me with someone who doesn't know who they are or what they want.
I do know.... But as a human being I long for more. I long for help. I long for love.
And as P.J Boyd. Patrick James - son to Darlene and Gord - I long for God.
Take me as you will - as I am or what you wish me to be. I also long to live.... And to have you a part of my life is something more than a present...
We all have pains and troubles of many varietys. But it is up to us all to choose love.
Choose love and break free from this depressed lifestyle. I can say that heart break and death has been in my past. But I can say joy and love soon followed.
Like I said, I have been in a very long week of pain and drunken reflections followed by lonely nights with my black berry - but like my past - my history - it WILL follow soon with the joy and love I do long for....
Life is hard. But living is easy.... If you choose love.
I chose.
-pJ
(know I wrote this ON my blackberry waiting for a "Go" train.... The grammar is not something that comes accessible in the tiny keyboard)
