Tune She Hum's

It isn't much of a word. Or a thing. But rather, she is a feeling. This "she" as in...... well...... girl..... Not so much a girl, but....... What else. To some she could be the sound of a good song, the sizzle of some warm bacon made for you befor you are off to work, or perhaps the steam of a hot coa-coa late at night snuggled up next to a fire. But for me..... She is the Holidays. Nothing more in my mind or heart could I think of a familiar feeling to bring me back into the Christmas Holidays then the thought of a woman cuddled up watching a fun flick with me....... You know what I'm saying?

I apologise if I come across right now as a hopeless romantic. Not my intention really.... Unless you are of the female gender and begun thinking honest thoughts of "oh pJ!!" then by all means continue and we can discuss my obsession with chick flicks over a cup of java on a later date...... But What I am truley getting at is Christmas. I lost it down the line. No you can not truly lose the day/holiday as we have all learned over the Who's of Whoville kickin ass one Christmas showing the Grinch how foolish he really is..... (not that being Green didn't show him already...... No no, I don't have anything against green people. I think they are odd, but I would help them if they were ever on a boat..... They may be sea sick)

Each year I enjoy Christmas Eve.... Odd, due to the depressing fact that I spend the night of Christmas eve......... alone..

Don't go "aww" or anything. Because really it is my New Years and Thanksgiving all tied up into one. This one night as the family is off at Church and other holiday shindigs, I reflect my year and practice gratitude and thanksgiving in my life as I sit there in a candle lit house with Bing serenading me as I toast to my life and write what I would call my "Christmas Abyss"...... I just merely zone out and write anything from a song, to a film idea and even the corny-est of poetry that would even embarress a duck...... Those guys have no shame I swear.....

Here's what I do though.... In this the holy holiday of Christ day -

I walk ... In the blistery blustery blizzard that is Toronto. And I look at lights. I just stare and tear up to myself as I dream of anything.

I hum into a sing into a two step into a ........... I just really sing.... But the feeling that Christmas gives me in my chest really pushes when I'm just singing to myself.

Right now Christmas is snowing up something fierce outside and she has never looked so gorgious....

Sure as I get woken up at 6 tomorrow morning to merely brush off my mothers car as she gets ready to go to work and I back to bed, I will curse her spitefull treatchery of hate that haunts my home (the snow that is....hehe)...... But that milky white dust will do nothing but smile back and just wait for me to smile back...

Gracefully as I stomp off to bed I wont think of how awesome this town is with it's snow. When you think about it, how many parts of this world does not even have snow? As I'm here living up a white christmas there are some people dusting off their shoes from all the sand getting caught in between their laces.

Ever see someone experience their first snow fall?

Not like a baby - the first snow fall to a baby is like Tiger woods winning another tournament... There's going to be a lot more firsts in their near future - this one doesn't matter.

But what I'm saying is the first snow fall for someone who has just moved to your city... It's a beautiful thing. I got to see someone who moved from the West Indies have their first experience with snow.... Arms stretched and singing to the sky. Dancing around as if no one else was around. They were in their own little Disney World of Dreams. Life had never been so sweet.

Feel it? She's giving me that feeling just to remember that moment. Christmas is a loving touch of EVERYTHING in our dreams. It's the giving, the loving, and the gratitude.

Lets not spend this Christmas closed off thinking what mommy and daddy are giving you or perhaps if Landon is going to ask you to the New Years box social down town for the countdown.

Lets take a page from Bing's book - not the child beating of course haha - but more one of the best words he was ever able to sing.

"When my Bankroll is getting small, I think of when I had none at all, And I fall asleep, Counting my Blessings"

-Mission 8- Gratitude, Holiday Style

Count em - point 1 you.

-pJ