How many cup's of Coffee does it take to get to the moon?
God would know I'm sure. Him and I would suspect Robin Williams. The energy in that man is well enough to get him to the moon and back a half dozen times. Not including Tim Horton stops in between.
I find comfort staying awake these days. This will be the 4th all nighter I have spent this month for the sake of being awake.
But here is the story I promised. And now when I say story I am bringing you back 2 years ago - The summer of '07.... yeah - 2007.... Gosh I feel like Grandpa Simpson... Now was it '07 or '06?
Either way - To fully bring you into this summer I need to bring you to the excitement and energy that I had as I found myself driving without boundaries - the wind blowing in my hair..... and a series of unfortunate events.
-Mission 15- "How to avoid the Police....... Without Really Trying"
I got my G1 license on my Birthday when I turned 16. This was almost half a decade ago now. And now for those playing the home game in the United States and or anywhere NOT in Canada - a G1 is a learners permit to drive a vehicle of the "Car and or Mini Van" form.
I quickly took it upon myself to take driving lessons and eventually fail once and pass my G2 (Drivers license with mega rules) - This would be in the winter..... Before THEE summer.
The beginning of the summer I went through training for a Camp called Ontario Pioneer Camp which took up half of my summer as I became a staff and Chalet led at the Boys side of the camp.
As I returned home there was a plethora of friends awaiting to hang out with me before I hit the road again back to camp. I had a 2 week interval before returning. One would think I would lay it low and take it easy - you know - relax...... But oh no. Me and my adventures.
One of the nights I decided to go and visit a friendly face - this face is named Montana. I went with a few other people. I think there were about 6 of us. At about 10pm I get a hankerin for some Gummie Bears. I love me some Gummies - trust me there. So from this craving we all pack in to my car and hit the pavement towards the closest store.
Unfortunately by that time - in that neighborhood everything was closed......... Now this just upset me. What was the world doing to a guy like me? All I wanted was some gummies. Whats a guy got to do? Jump in my trunk and scream as loud as I could!?................................. :)
alright then I will.
Don't ask me why I did it. But I did. I was in there screaming my head off being silly making everyone laugh at my over dramatics. Now as I lay there - the door to my trunk was still open. Now I drove (at the time) a white '92 Oldsmobile.... C'mon the word "Mobile" is in the name... How cool is that? hah. Now the door to it WAS open. But leave it to Beaver - and Beaver being my best bud and my best bud being Jordan - Slammed the door shut leaving me locked in the trunk and him with the keys and a gigantic empty parking lot.............................. oh boy...
As fast as I doubted this would be a good idea - the car had started and begun to move.
Now the most famous of Fast and Furious moves to do in a car is so named by the design it would make if the tires had paint on them and the ground was a canvas..... The Doughnut... Now it was if Jordan was catering to a fleet of Police officers - I swear we were doing doughnuts for a while.... But as long as a road through Texas could be by foot - there always comes an end that sure enough is going to leave you with nothing but a bunch of blisters...... The car finally stopped..... And Jordan's voice came silent through the car - "PJ - PJ!- a police car is pulling up to us!! He saw us! ***#%&* S*&^# Father ^#$%3 Son of a jackal! - Keep quiet! What ever you do just PLEASE keep QUIET!!!"
Now - for those of you who would piss your pants - I'm not the spoiling type - and I was wearing some nice jeans..... But oddly enough as I froze completely scared out of my life - because sure enough - if they asked to look in the Trunk - Jordan and I would be in the back of that police car VERY fast! But as they talked for a whopping 8 minutes about who knows what - I stay laying there trying to think of some sort of line to say if worst comes to worst and I am discovered like Long Johns Gold. Now I don't know what sort of situations you have been in but 8 minutes in a trunk hiding from a Police officer is about a life time and a half. So you can imagine the type of lines I was thinking up... I think the best one would have either been "Room for one more!" or "Don't let the light in!!!" --- So finally I hear Jordan whisper - "PJ, they just asked for the Registration"
Now this is my car - under my fathers name....................... We're screwed.
Now I whisper back... And I mean whisper - not this stage whispering where everyone can hear you. A dog would even have to have super senses to have heard me. But as I whispered "the glove compartment - in a light blue holder" he rummaged through and handed the officer a PILE of papers. Varying from maps to my mothers shopping list. But the registration was in there and he merely told the officer "y'know, funny thing...................... This isn't my car......... This is actually my friends car. He's having people over and was too tired to come out so we borrowed his car.".................................damn it... It's all done now.
The Officer pauses and says...... "Do you think this boy's father would want you to be doing this with his car?!" - Jordan answers no fast. The officer took his license and ran it through the system and gave Jordan a warning.
Now IIIIIIIIII think that he just must have assumed no one could be in the trunk because the other people whom were with us (nice of you to remember them) were watching from the corner in view of the Officer.
Now this is alright. It's not quite ten minutes yet. Jordan hops out of the car and yells to everyone to get in the car and let me out of the trunk. Jordan is how you say "quite spent" at this point. I can hear my other friends scrambling through my keys to find the correct one to let me out......... I had a lot of key chains.... It was cool back then..... Hell it's cool now - don't judge me! ---- But before they could get me out - I simply hear Jordan say again "STOP!...... Here comes another Cop!"
Yes folks - another cop. Mere seconds after the other had driven off. - This one pulled up to the lot of them and simply said "What are you guys doin out here so late?" ---- He was lookin for a drug bust.... Well sorry to disappoint yah Carl Winslow but there would be nothing of that sort round this group. He stayed for a few minutes talking to them and trying to pry something out of them. But Jordan being already quite terrified told this officer EVERYTHING!!!!!!!
No no ... Not that I was STILL in the trunk... Thanks for remembering me. But just that another cop had stopped him from doing the big circular Dough recreation by Car.
The Officer nodded and allowed us to be on our way. But Jordan wasn't letting me out just yet. Oh no. We were not recreating this moment - he got everyone into the car and begun to drive. I being in the trunk for at LEAST 15 freaking minutes am all but a mere frozen piece of nothing waiting to relieve this stress with something of the "Gummie esc" type..... Yeah don't think this little obstacle side tracked me in any way...... But amongst the giggling of my friends in the car asking me how I was doing - Jordan yells back - "Okay - we are going into the darker streets and letting you out in a residential area........... And that he did. Good lord........ And the worst part about the night. amongst the fear and stress - the police encounters and even Jordan and I almost being arrested.......... I never got my damn gummies!!!!!
But I slept it off. I was alright. And while driving Jordan home............. Take a wild guess...... I was stopped for Speeding..... bloody hell.......... Two days later I was with another good friend named Jackie.... Sure enough taking her home.... I was pulled over because the officer "THOUGHT" I wasn't going to stop for 3 seconds at a stop sign, but because I saw him - I did.... WHAT CRAP IS THAT?!?! Oh well................... That is alright. I was going to camp and that was the end of that..... It was a great two weeks to end off the summer at camp.
I got home and awaited school...... You know... Relax - Take it easy... Do it like the Romans would..... Lay about.....:)....Not get into trouble..... You know - things I usually do ;)
A week before school I went to pick up a friend and Drove right into the back of an older ladies car. Totalled both cars. She was taken in an ambulance with possible neck and back injuries. - Her and her husband sued me for about a year as well as I was being charged with Careless Driving by the Police and a possible 6 points taken from my license and a possible suspension of my license all together including the raising of my insurance.
But alas the case was thrown out - the woman dropped the suet and I walked away free of all charges. And how did I do this? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- That's another story :)
-pJ
No comments:
Post a Comment