Make'n me Santa

"Who said that every wish should be heard and answered?"

That's right people I said it!  I quoted one of the most influential people in this history.  They had a point you know, sitting there just thinking out loud.  Never once thinking to themselves wh

o would listen or what would come of it.  But they said it and BOOM.  Here I am quoting them.  Mr.Kermit the Frog I tip mine hat to your leap-fulness.  (But seeing as I am clearly here to change the world, it can hardly become a philosophy of mine to follow).

That's right people,  Come one Come all!.......  Actually just come one.... Or at least one at a time.  I'm not a machine......hmmmmm... Wait no that'd never work.  I don't have the technology..... But any way.

-Mission 7-  Make'n me Santa.

Once every young hormonal child reaches the age and the slight intellectual capability they get to go to a magical/tear creating hell called High School.  Now among all the "But you said you LOVED me!!!" "Why are you eating your lunches in the washroom?"  "What does Pikachu say?" And my absolute favourite - "What does the wall mean, the jokes in my hand?" - there are the friendships.  

Now I have had quite the amazing amount of friendships within my high school days, but now as I think back to those fading drunken memories I remember the horrible HORRIBLE times of the year when we all were forced to take what little money we had hoped to spend on a new shirt that says "I do all my own stunts" on it, or the possible phone card to allow an extra 35 minutes on our cell phones for that late night "so what were you dreaming about?" phone call, you have to spend it on gifts for these people.

"I" in the world that is now, am a huge believer in giving, thanksgiving and gratitude.  But back in the day I would have killed myself if I had to walk into the Body Shop one more time for that 3rd birthday this month or joint Christmas basket.  Or try to ask the really cute music retail worker if she could quite possibly point out the most recent cd by what's his face with the tightly chizzled abs.  

sighhh I was just embarrassed.................................... Where were my tightly chizzled abs?

By the end of high school I had come close to giving up and all together not buying Christmas presents for my ridiculous amounts of friends.  (thats right people, no abs but a billion friends.  eat dem apples MR. Attractive Efron who could date anyone he wanted to, even guys and still make more friends than me and have more money......cough......  So there..)

I came up with this method along side my partner in crime Mr.Pipher - Impersonal gifts that make everyone laugh from the cheapness..

The gift of comedy should always be high on everyone's grown up christmas wish list.

Now as most people over the age of 29 know, family portraits are brilliant to shove into a tacky Costco bulk christmas card and send out to everyone.  But being clever little pickles as we were/are/then I say something else - We decided to mix it up a bit and make a few copies of us to give out to people.

Now these photos are circulating the world now and it would be a great deal of effort for me to track them all down, so lets all plug in our imagination boxes, down a quick drink (I suggest something with milk for this particular occasion.....  Because Im silky smoooth ;) ) And lets imagine shall we.

The first was reading a story to the children by a warm fire before bed....... cough..  We were in sweater vests - Jordan played the role of the sleepy children and I sat in a big comfy chair reading him Calvin and Hobbes to an empty fire place in the middle of the afternoon.

The 2nd was us singing carols to all the people in our small german village........sniff...... Still sporting the sweater vests Jordan was singing off while playing and geetar and I was rockin a tambourine and we were jammin in his living room to no one.

The third was the classic buddy buddy shot of two good pals standing next to a fully decorated Christmas tree.......... No silly attempts with this photo...... We just looked to gorgeous to mess with it is all.

Photos are one thing - Cards and a small signature is what made it whole.  But the following year as we could do nothing more than dread the thought of creating something sooo expected.  This year we would recruit our dear friend named so by the joy in his h

eart "Pogo", we began production on our Christmas Album.

This album had classic tributes to such christmas hits such as "All I want for Christmas" - "Mean one Mr. Grinch" - ""Baby It's Cold Outside" and "We Three Kings" changed to "We Pirate Kings".  And also a few surprises such as "A Whole New World" a Freestyle rap as the opener and one of the hit songs from Scrubs musical episode "Guy Love".

I'm not going to lie, but on a brisk Christmas summer afternoon I enjo

y listening to these hits.  Although our vocals may sound a tad silly during most points of the album - It's the thought of AMAZING that counts :).

Now to continue this Christmas tradition we have to come up with som

ething just as good, because frankly, I have never been one to re-gift a toaster to 35 people.  

What - a - do this year?  Perhaps a series of buttons that spell out the location to a hidden present that only one person gets?  A gerbil with our names shaved into it's back?  A few movie sequences of us dancing in different parts of the world to a hit song by Jason Mraz? (perhaps "Make it Mine" ?? :) ) Or how about a show that allows us to end off with a big musical number to which we throw a plethora of flowers into the crowd as they scream for more but through all the agony of perfection in our voices we some how find ourselves stopping ever

ything in mid sente.............................................................................................