Un-Ceremonious day of Bogus.

Do you know what it's like to take a bus for an obscene amount of time without a musical device. I'm sure you may know. I'm sure that you have spent a fall/autumn night in the countryside on a Grey hound bus missioning it back towards your homestead where you will be swarmed with a loving family and a half butchered chicken awaiting you to devour it........ BUT YOU HAVE NO IPOD!!!!
Sure the ending result seems to be heaven - but how much do you think you are going to enjoy that chicken when you spend hours and hours pressed up towards a window as the man beside you is a sleep on your shoulder crushing you to the point of you beginning to write your Will after being the first to die a la pancake technique.

okay yah yah I'm sure you would love it a lot more after going through such hell, BUTTTTTT, wouldn't it be better if that large man was in fact a very attractive person feeding you grapes and massaging your back as you listen to some killer tunes and ignore them completely as not to have any obligations at the end of your trip so you can just get straight home to your CHICKEN!!??

GOSH!! Is that too much to ask for?

Life is a lot more dragged out when you do not have some sort of musical device to help zen you out on a long mission.

Especially when those mission is filled with the most heinous of events.

-Mission 6- Un-Ceremonious Parking Ticket

Here's my plan. I am going to get up at about 6:30 in the morning and take the bus over to an old High School teacher/now friends house where I have promised to babysit his son. After a few hours I need to bus it with him to school and then off to go pay this $30 parking ticket. And I suppose to make myself happier I shall indulge in some pointless spending and get myself a new sweater. This should only take me about 2 hours maximum depending on the speed of the buses and the line up to pay this parking ticket.

So I get up at 6:30 - I rush to put on my clothes and get to a Tim Horton's to get some sweeet sweeet nectar (Extra Large Double Double - Double Cup'd). Waiting for the bus isn't so bad, it came after a while and I made it to my old teachers place on time. Sure enough his young son Evan had a big night I hear so he should be sleeping for most of the time I am there. Thats cool - I'll just sit here and watch some television...... ELLEN?!!!! Sweeeet. I sit and I watch some Ellen, and as I sit and await for Evan to wake up I learn a bit more about Miley Cyrus in this interview then I actually really cared to know.

Honestly - I really tried to get into that fab - Not Jonas fab - But just appreciating what Miley Cyrus is doing. But watching her I was just getting more and more annoyed with her. She is really just a kid just barely pushing 16 and she is giggling all over the place.... SIghhhhhh okay - As I remembered a few blog entries ago I should just go "good on them - Don't knock someone else's happiness".....I'm sure she's a sweet girl in real life..... I'm sure. -So I continued watching.

10 o clock hit and I started to get anxious for Evan to wake up because he needed to eat and leave by about 11:10. Now for those of you who have ever needed to get a 6 year old up...... It's not an easy task.... Lucky for me the previous night happened to be Toronto's first Snow Fall of the season... Evaaaaaaaaan wake up....... nothing...... EVVVVAAAANNN Wake uuuuuuuuup *poke poke poke*..........nothing......... Evan get up....... *shakes*........ Evan ....... (begin poking him in the face).... EEEEEVVVAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN....there's snow on the ground.... "SNOW!?"....... and he's up.

I get him to school and await for his daddy to come drop off a snack for him to eat on break. As I wait I feel REEEAAALLLYYY creepy. I'm standing there wearing a fairly long all black P-Coat and a gangsta blue hat........... I am standing amongst a ton of children....... Teacher's were watching me like a hawk!.... But I just simply played with Evan and tried desperatly to ignore the 3 little girls trying to choreograph a dance to a Hilary Duff song to which they didn't have a cd but only their own voices to play the song and they only knew a single line from the Chorus...

(Now as a musical theater student I felt like stepping in and showing them a thing or two.... but seeing how they were merely 7 years old I decided to cut those talentless swines a break)

Finally his poppa comes and he goes into class and I am off to the Police Ticketing Station..... 3 buses later I am waiting in line... These buses were hell. I was bored standing with no music and it was sooo cold out. But I had to pay this ticket within 5 days before I was to receive a conviction letter.
I am waiting in the Ticket place humming to myself for about 20 minutes and watching the woman who is legally the hight of a dwarf sneak up on someone she knew and scare them...... I laughed. She was good at making soft steps ..teehee.

I get up and act cute to the officer and she asks me to pay - I have a debit card and 25 bucks on me. Clearly I am 5 dollers too short to pay in cash so I say debit.......... *Spending Limited* .......

"WHAT?!!!!"

My Debit card can not limit my spending!? My mother has been trying for years! What secret does this card hold that she has yet to find?

I apologize to the officer and say I will be back shortly to pay it. I call my bank - put on the old angry voice - "HEY! This is the third time my card has been frozen since August! What the hell!?" (I wasn't lying) *Sorry sir it says here you used your card last Sunday at a location to which has been tagged as stealing pin's* (damn that Swiss Chalet! They didn't even garnish my friends Shirley Temple..... I don't care how many people were at my table, a Shirley Temple comes with a Sword skewering a maraschino cherry - and the possible Orange wedge)

So I listen to my options and really there is only one. I have 2 hours to get to a CIBC bank and change my pin. I ask where the closest one is....... 2 buses later I am there changing my pin. I am not happy. I call them and they watch as I change it. They say *Great, your account should be back up within the next 4 hours*......................................."come again?".......... *4 hours sir*...... "NO sir.... I need to pay a parking ticket today and the place closes in 2 hours. This card better be working by the time I get back there" - *umm sorry sir. But what I can suggest is you wait around the bank and in about 5 or 10 minutes check the status and see if it begins to work* "Fine........ I'll wait" - *Is there anything else I can help you with sir?* - "Nope that about does it" - *Well you have a nice day sir* - (in a chipper voice) "You tooOOOooo" {hangs up}

Now what to do, what-a-do. I walk into a Mr Sub and just order a 6 inch Veggie Delight on Italian - I take is easy today and only put on lettuce cucumbers and a TON of green Olives..... As I sit there still infuriated with time and the fact that I have already been on 7 different buses today... the radio goes silent in the Mr Sub..... "daa doo doo" ... "I'm Your's" By Jason Mraz comes on.... I look up to the sky "Okay world, you got lucky!" I sit and I jive to some Mraz as I wait for my account to hopefully get reactivated. Sure enough it did and I was back on the bus headed towards the Police Ticket Station.

I walk in to pay and there is a similar line there then what was there before. Same wait..... Less Little people... I pay the ticket and begin waiting for the next bus. I sit in the cold waiting a long time just humming to myself some mraz just so I do not flip again..... I see a bus passing going in the opposite direction, on it says that it is headed towards the Scarborough Town Center..... "I want to go there!" - I thought - But just as fast as I saw that bus I watched it drive past me onward towards my new sweater..... Disgruntled and cold I decide to switch sides of the street and wait for this bus (seeing how the last one would make me have to take another bus plus a 5 minute walk to the Mall) - Quickly enough a 2nd bus comes - before even a first one on the opposite side- and I am off to the Scarborough Town Center. I get there and in a fast enough pase I head towards the American Eagle (work) to buy myself a sweater (with a workers discount :) ) - I am quickly joined by a midget dressed as a nun.... ahaha no no I wish... I am snuck up on by a friend named Matt - Most famous for "The Matt Bernard Show" Online now and of course APTN's "The Link"(haha). We make plans for later on the eve and I get back on track to my sweater.

I am in and out within seconds (thats what she said). I have my sweater and I head home. ahhhhh sweeet relief, my bed, my pillow, my Jason Mraz DvD of his Concert in New York.... Life is good.

I get a phone call from Matt -the ringtone is the theme from the Office- We make plans to go to our buddy Shawn's house to play some wicked Super Nintendo.. I'm driving this time. No more buses....... Todays count .... 11 buses..... Sigh no fun.........


............................................................................................................... So sure enough my mom is at church with the car.... ON A THURSDAY NIGHT?!?!? .......... So back on the the bus..... I meet up with Matt (1 Bus) ....... We get to a station (2nd bus) and we transfer buses to get to Shawns (3 Buses). After a few hours of Super Nintendo and a few outdoor Hot Tub games we call the Snowball Games (run out of the tub roll in the snow as others throw snowballs at you from inside the tub as you try to get back in) - I head home ... 1 bus to the station.... 1 subway stop to my station.... and then another bus to get home.......... Total count 16 buses and 1 subway Transfer....

Somebody get me a car...........