Not Looking

It's strange how ironical and absolutely necessary some days come together.....  Or even a week.

We all have heard the term to stop and smell the flowers or however it goes (guess I clearly haven't heard it :D)  but you know what I'm saying......  I am going to adapt the phrase to mean the EXACT same thing - but give you a whole new meaning for it ........ :) ..... Got it ?.......... Ready?......

Stop and hear the birds..........

The soft serenading tweet of a bird can really open your heart for a sort of uplifting boost that can ACTUALLY brighten your day..... You'll just have to take it in........  Now of course although I do love the songs of a bird every once in a while I mean particular things that people say -  The world of "people" - your friends..... Your family --- and yourself...  We all get the hello from a stranger that we KNOW we have met, but of course for the life of us we just can not pin point when and where or WHAT the hell their name is!!

But how cool is it that they (half the time not remembering you) say hello to you in a walk by through the halls of your school - the grocery store - in the elevator - or even on a random street.......

Well folks --- this week - Though I didn't (and have never actually) felt like I needed a good "REAL" heart felt compliment - I got one of the best kinds.......... 

The ones where the person giving the compliment doesn't mean to give it to you - but at the same time does....... conflicting yes......... But here's my story.  :)

-Mission 33- Compliment Soup for the Theater Students Soul

Let's begin with the ending and work our way back.....

Yesterday (seeing how it's at this moment a quarter after 1 here in Toronto) I was in one of my many forms of acting classes....  - Because "acting" folks -- is not just simply "drama"...  Crazy I know - yet my jaw bone and diaphragm thank me every night for the work out.......

So in this class we had a brief spontaneous chat with our professor about "insults" and how amazing we would all be through a little more complimenting in our lives.

She used the idea of telling a child that they are "stupid" or telling them to "shut up".......  Telling someone to shut up is of course the initial phrasing we use to make someone stop talking (initially) because we cannot handle what they are saying to us.....  A shame really...  To quiet someone - although in the general idea that they are saying something completely wrong or obtuse to what they should be saying --- We actually bring embarrassment on to the person talking and completely belittling them.... Causing them.... to feel "Stupid"......  Double whammy folks.......  Though I found it funny how I had been called "stupid" in more a kidding (hopefully) flirty way - no more than 20 minutes prior to this discussion, I was left with the feeling of "damn why don't I understand things sometimes.  I am soo useless" - and - "DAMN I hope she was flirting with me".......  The 2nd being the main reaction completely erasing the first thought - but the first one was encountered and there was an emotional response in those mere seconds....

Now we discussed how uplifting it would be to simply compliment.  To get out of the addiction of talking "the bads" of people - but rather the "goods"........ Think about it......  Compliments don't NEED to be to a persons face or even directed at them personally.....  The hardest but BEST way to get into a state of ease when it comes to complimenting is to discuss the goods of people in a discussion where their name happens to pop up......  Yes of course I know as a human race we NEVER EVER gossip - or bring someone up as the subject in our transitive sentence ;)  -- but let's start creating our subject compliment in that sentence a tad more NICER!  -- shall we?

(apologies - my weakest class in grammar -- you're gonna have to suck it for now.... and then of course excuse the poorly written sentences... :D)

A bit before this class - being of course a wopping 3 hours before hand - I was in Ballet.....  Now you shouldn't fear Ballet classes gentlemen  -- if you don't lose you're masculinity it is quite a sexy way of moving........  Now for myself..... I lost the masculinity.............. :D - So here's compliment #2 of 2..... (remember --- we're moving backwards ;))

My ballet teacher is of course a hilarious british lass with a phenomenal amount of training and experience in the art.  --- now I say of course because I always stereotypically imagine a ballet teacher as being either - British - Russian or French........  The only REALLY different part is that I imagine all 3 of those cultures to teach and act like Ballet Nazi's.... :D But bless her heart - mine is funny.........  And so to begin this compliment ---  "You know the thing I hate about you P.J is..............."

Like it so far?  I know I did.. Made me chuckle...  (or if an old friend used to say "made me bum tremble" :))

She inevitably was telling me that "I" had a nice attractive body and that although I looked the part of a man...... I danced like a complete "poofter"  :) 

Take it as you can folks --- While some walk away with sadness over being called feminine as a man (dancing) -- I walked away with "damn pj!  You're not as ugly as you think!!"

It was a nice moment for me...........  I know we are all self conscious and it is nice to hear that "you look really good" line every now and again....  But due to growing up and having a ton of friends whom were girls and them always calling that random guy "gorgeous" --- It's nice to FINALY hear it about yourself......  not saying she called me gorgeous .... but for once I felt it.... you know?

Compliment number 1.

It was Tuesday afternoon and there was about 5 minutes left in class.  this was a Vocal class for us to try out Musical Theater Solos.... AND BOOM..... I get called up..... Lame..... sigh... AAAALRIGHT.... I go up and sing "Where I Want To Be" from the Musical "Chess"....  I sing the song.. Do my best.... About halfway through my ending I try desperately to get to that climactic emotion and push myself in the song..... But I don't do so well....  

Now in this class the teacher will at this moment come up and do a quick exercise with you - varying from a squat position and her holding your jaw open to feel how it should be while you sing... Or get someone to come up and "seduce"/"make-out" with you .... This is of course depending on the context of your song... Mine isn't the make out type of song - so no dice for me.........

She simply came up to me .......  Grabbed my arms and said...... "PJ IS ENOUGH"...........

:) 

This is to of course get me to realize that I am trying to show too much emotion rather than keeping it more myself.......  But WOW......  Put your own name in there and use it in other contexts!..........  

I've had a really hard couple of weeks with the loss of a dear friend and having to sit out of a lot of classes due to a foot injury....  I am only know back into the swing..... (excuse the pun.......I swing dance..........ahem) ----- I failed a couple of quiz's the monday/tuesday after the big news of my friend popped up.......  I have a pile of work now piled up and no time to do it due to this weekend being a mandatory attendance to the 2nd years "dance critiques"...........  Where's the time?

It's not hard to say I'm stressed.... It's hard to feel it day to day...... But......... PJ..... You are ..... Enough.........

I can do it..... And I will do it....

SURE I'll be tired as hell......  But you need to sacrifice things and endure through the pain for those things you REALLY want......  I want the life I have....... I am NOT losing it.

PJ IS ENOUGH............................... Are you?

-pJ