Ahoy! Sunshine

My hands smell like bacon.

I've been looking for some sense of play as of late.  And take that in as what ever comes - but for me - I've been looking (in a less poetic way) for something to do.

Depression can creep on someone fast.  Things build.  Doing nothing can haunt someone.  Especially in a time and season where you notice friends going off into the world.  Sure my time is coming to get out of this city and live something new.  But it's the anticipation and the agony that stretches you thin.  

This year I will be working up at a camp.  Doing fun little acting games with children.  I'm the drama guy.  Not as in this "new" slang where drama means everything bad.  Or Luggage - DON'T YOU HATE THAT!?  Who the hell refers to someones emotional capacity or problems as "luggage" ?  - I despise the word.  Even when I'm packing.  I call it my pack or my sack......... For obvious reasons I usually call it my pack.  OR bag is a good one.  But I find myself insulting people as "an old bag" so the rarity of it is quite unique.  

To pass my time I have been running.  Hasn't done a thing to my physical appearance other than when you see me walk I complain constantly about my legs being as sore as a mans lip with herpes.  

Other things have been finishing up those darn songs I have had dwelling in my mind for a long time.  I wrote this little chord pattern that I have turned into a chorus.  I really enjoy it.  I almost don't want to play the full song.  I love it.  I'm sure if you are someone reading this that will also be at the same camp as I am - you will hear it.  I wont identify it as being apart of one of my songs.  But you'll hear it.

I was lucky enough to bring up my tunes to a cottage this past weekend and really get into them in front of some nature.  Some peacefulness - some ------- some................. Bacon.

-Mission 25-  "My hands smell like Bacon"

Not going to lie.  I have been in a serious rut for the past couple weeks.  It finally got to me at the beginning of last week.  It's odd how you can have a REALLY great night filled with excitement - joy - entertainment - art - friendship - and even some love - and wake up the next day feeling depressed.  It's an awful cycle of things to go through.  A nice little outing to the Distillery District here in Toronto with a few friends who keep me in some of the most level headed states I ever seem to be in.  

It was a fun night with art beaming from every corner.  The show was casual.  So casual that we didn't even realize it had begun.  With music growing as loud as the crowd - randomly - dancers began to move within different areas of the crowd.  From there we heard some amazing music varying from acoustic rock - to indie rock.  After a few spoken word pieces and some Old Timey Vaudeville Comedy from my friends - It was mingle time.  Beer was expensive - but it didn't stop us from having a fun time.  Sure the performers all drank for free - and I just to happened to be with a group of people who performed - so we were all enjoying ourselves.  

It's funny.  I've been single for well over a year now - and although I do miss the compassion and love - I don't go looking for it these days.  But that night - although I wasn't searching - It found me.  

I had some great conversations - and although I left with no real outlook on seeing them - no phone number to reunite in some coffee shop for some caramels or anything - it was a great night........  Apparently I am slowly turning into "Zac Efron".  My buddy Matt whom was looking for a good conversation or two wasn't pleased with my easy ability over the evening.  hahaha We had a good laugh about it on the way home.  Haha - or at least I did :D

So the week had passed with nothing happening.  Quite literally.  I was alright with this due to my brand new spankin Mac Laptop.  My mom found it necessary to kick me off her computer and give me one of my own.  Obey thy mother and thy father I felt - so I went along with her idea ;) 

Tonight we are planning to pretend to return it because they failed to mention to us that if we bought it a week later, I would get a free Ipod.  So we are going in to get me that Ipod :).  Mom's lookin out for number 1.... Me.

But among the week of nothing - I came to the weekend.  A 2 night stay away at my good old friend Danielle's cottage.  Few of us from the original core high school group from back then went.  It was intended to be a small group.  

I was a part of the early group.  We arrived and took to having a good time quite religiously.  It was hours before the final group of people showed up.  We were already set on hitting our designated bedrooms.....  Mine was of course the couch in the main living room - seeing how I was one of the only ones there without a significant other.  This I did not mind, it was just the staying up to the endless hour of 6:45am until the last of the latecomers had gone to sleep.

Not going to lie.  There was some personality clashing that weekend.  We have all been great friends for years.  But something just was off.  And as much fun as we had....  The tension caused it not to be the relaxed weekend I had intended.

But I did however get time just rocking out to some of my songs.  Playing some old ones.  It was great.  

Ever play the game "Signal" - it's a card game.  I suggest you learn how to play and have one killer night of it.  

That was my favorite part of the weekend.  I teamed up with this girl Bailey, and we faced off against her boyfriend Arthur and ma sistah girl Jack-star miss Jackie Dell.  

Bailey and I had an early start with winning - but Arthur and Jackie came back in a hurricane of Signal death - looking out for nothing but triumph.  Toook us out they did.  BUT - the others who were not playing wanted to play another game and wanted us to be a part of it.  Not really wanting to break this hilarious match we decided to do one more finale round......  Bailey and I were eyeing them down to make sure they didn't slip a finale signal without us looking.........  I had 3 "5's"!!!  One more and we had it... I picked up a 4 in hopes to throw them off.....  Buzzed as I was didn't see the other 4 sitting down on the table....  They all had a good laugh over me no way fooling them......  But I was in this to win haha...  I found the 5..... I took it very casually giving off the feeling I was going to begin going for 5's.  Arthur looked at me and full out guessed I had 3 of the same cards - I tried to look sly by taking a casual sip of my drink..... This of course also being mine and Baileys signal...  His eyes grew as the cup got closer to me....  I stopped and begun to laugh - Bailey noticed and was getting ready for me to finally take that sip.......  "Take a sip" hahaha Arthur said to me - I laughed but took my sip - before he could call a block and win the game - Bailey shouted out "SIGNAL" and WE TOOOK IT HOME!!!!

Booo yah grandma in a barn of glory!!!  We were the winners.  haha.  If we had continued to play we wouldn't have become victims of a serious buzz kill.  Haha.  But the night ended early.  Everyone went to sleep.  We woke up and it was my turn to help make breakfast........ 36 pieces of bacon later - we had eaten breakfast - cleaned and decided - sure we have another full day..... But amidst the awkward grouping - we left.

Dyeing to be home - I stormed into my house tearing my pants off to allow a pants free zone for the rest of my day I went straight for the shower.

RELIFE I felt being cleansed of more than just dirt.  I sat at my mac and turned on the third installment of "Back to the Future" and settled in for the end of my night........ Within minutes of turning on the dvd - still quite damp from my shower - Ted - a friend of mine - comedian - invited me to see a well known stand up comedian "Sean Cullum" downtown with him...... Pants were back on - and I was off on the town......

Now I'm excited.  I ended off strong on an almost buzz killed filled weekend.  And a head of me is a summer filled with amazing friends.  Great days filled with laughter and fun.....  And a bliss I long for every summer.....  I'm not yet there.  But I can see this land from my crows nest quite clearly now.  22 days.....  Camp Ho!!!  Ahoy! Sunshine.

-yar